Besides, the quest for "understanding" is what has exhausted you; our need for "understanding" is our disease of faithlessness. "Understanding" is our defense against being and knowing. "Understanding" is an intellectual purgatory prior to immersion in the fires of experience. - Cary Tennis

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Mosquitoes

Fear of not being good enough
Fear of car breaking down
Fear of losing the apartment
Fear of not making enough money
Fear of having to find another job
Fear of not liking a job
Fear of being trapped
Fear of not knowing what to do
Fear of not breathing right
Fear of fear getting worse
Fear of derision
Fear of not being able to face the fear
Fear of being asked to do the impossible
Fear of missing the boat
Fear of missing a deadly physical ailment
Fear of not doing things right
Fear of not knowing what's expected
Fear of strange things
Fear of having a spider crawling over bare feet
Fear of not knowing what's wrong
Fear of being broken
Fear of doing irreparable harm to a body part
Fear of being paralyzed
Fear of not being able to enjoy anything
Fear of not being able to enjoy something
Fear of not being able to enjoy going out
Fear of being crazy
Fear of going crazy
Fear of doing something wrong that will lead to going crazy
Fear of not knowing the right thing to do to keep from going crazy
Fear of others' impatience
Fear of losing friends
Fear of strangers
Fear of not knowing what to say to strangers
Fear of the telephone
Fear of not being able to see what's in the water
Fear of having something brush against a leg
Fear of dying
Fear of dying in fear
Fear of this continuing forever
Fear of rapists
Fear of bears
Fear of being alone in the woods
Fear of wetting pants
Fear of being bullied
Fear of alligators under the bed
Fear of other people not helping
Fear of letting people get the better of you
Fear of letting dogs get the better of you
Fear of being no good
Fear of being too arrogant
Fear of
Fear of not feeling enough fear to be able to practice feeling fear
AHA!
**swat!**

4 comments:

  1. This makes me adore you.


    Fear of not being adored ... cross that one off.

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  2. Jeezus. I think I actually blushed.

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  3. OK, no gushing this time. It's just that you get it so right sometimes. Writing like this makes us realize that we are all one, we all feel this. Honesty in writing is rare and wonderful, and instead of "revealing" a weakness, shows that you are strong enough to tell it that way. It's hard to be honest, and that's why it is beautiful.

    I am back to read 2 stories I missed while I was gone!

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  4. oh, it is my fave because it was a trip into the past and entirely true, and I thought you would get a kick out of it. :) Thanks!

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